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Being the random thoughts of a middle aged overeducated physician, father, and citizen. James M. Small MD PhD. Send me a reply to jmsmall @ mycap.org.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Screwtape Letter 3.
For previous letters: 1 2 For next letter: 4
Our patient has a strained relationship with his mother (who he lives with.) How can our devils exploit this?
First, the Patient thinks his conversion to Christianity is inside him, so keep him focused internally. (God wants us focused on God and on our neighbors.) One of my favorite quotes is in this section: "You must bring him to a condition in which he can practise self-examination for an hour without discovering any of those facts about himself which are perfectly clear to anyone who has ever lived in the same house with him or worked in the same office." That's me! Self examination is a big waste of my time, I'm too clever to actually see the truth.
Second, make his prayers vague and spiritual. Don't pray for her arthritis, pray for her "soul." Pray for her sins (which, of course, really means "pray for all the things she does that irritate ME!) Part of the purpose of prayer, it seems, is to get the feelings and thoughts of prayer to affect the way one treats others day-to-day.
Third, people who live together irritate each other, sometimes just by existing. There are a couple of ways we can interpret this: "She does that on purpose, just to irritate me!" or, "Well, that tone of voice is irritating, but she can't help it and besides, I suspect she has one or two things on her mind just now aside from irritating me!" (and of course, nothing I do could in any way irritate her...)
Fourth, and another favorite of mine, talks about the difference between the plain words and the real communication. People can say, "When is dinner?" in two different ways--one is seeking information, and the other is whining, accusing, or judging. The difference is the tone of voice and the body language.
So the devils (or the dark side of our psychology, you pick) say for us to assume the worst of those around us.
Our pastor did a sermon on love last week. The chapter in I Corinthians 13 is famous in weddings. You've probably heard it: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude...
He went on to say that love does three vital things. It protects (covers, bears burdens for.) Love Trusts--it gives the benefit of the doubt, thinks the best, assigns the best interpretation to the facts. And love HOPES. God makes all things possible.
Life is so much brighter when you begin to assume the best! Yes, it's a bit unnatural and a voice inside may whisper about what a sap you're being. Ignore it. Of course this does not mean to ignore actual facts, but it does mean to be careful about how you interpret them.
Our patient has a strained relationship with his mother (who he lives with.) How can our devils exploit this?
First, the Patient thinks his conversion to Christianity is inside him, so keep him focused internally. (God wants us focused on God and on our neighbors.) One of my favorite quotes is in this section: "You must bring him to a condition in which he can practise self-examination for an hour without discovering any of those facts about himself which are perfectly clear to anyone who has ever lived in the same house with him or worked in the same office." That's me! Self examination is a big waste of my time, I'm too clever to actually see the truth.
Second, make his prayers vague and spiritual. Don't pray for her arthritis, pray for her "soul." Pray for her sins (which, of course, really means "pray for all the things she does that irritate ME!) Part of the purpose of prayer, it seems, is to get the feelings and thoughts of prayer to affect the way one treats others day-to-day.
Third, people who live together irritate each other, sometimes just by existing. There are a couple of ways we can interpret this: "She does that on purpose, just to irritate me!" or, "Well, that tone of voice is irritating, but she can't help it and besides, I suspect she has one or two things on her mind just now aside from irritating me!" (and of course, nothing I do could in any way irritate her...)
Fourth, and another favorite of mine, talks about the difference between the plain words and the real communication. People can say, "When is dinner?" in two different ways--one is seeking information, and the other is whining, accusing, or judging. The difference is the tone of voice and the body language.
So the devils (or the dark side of our psychology, you pick) say for us to assume the worst of those around us.
Our pastor did a sermon on love last week. The chapter in I Corinthians 13 is famous in weddings. You've probably heard it: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude...
He went on to say that love does three vital things. It protects (covers, bears burdens for.) Love Trusts--it gives the benefit of the doubt, thinks the best, assigns the best interpretation to the facts. And love HOPES. God makes all things possible.
Life is so much brighter when you begin to assume the best! Yes, it's a bit unnatural and a voice inside may whisper about what a sap you're being. Ignore it. Of course this does not mean to ignore actual facts, but it does mean to be careful about how you interpret them.
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